Obama Ain't President

Since when did wingnuts start caring about things like "procedure" and "legality"? And when did they start using The Princess Bride as a basis for a system of government?

Most importantly - when will they go away?

Raj in DC, Day 3

Today is my last day in DC. I realized that I spent the last two days with a dead mike. I told Walt to listen to the audio, but he refused. Fortunately we were able to film more. Interestingly, most people have left DC, so it feels as empty as the Western Ghats. More intriguingly, I think sleeping on the mall has started taking its toll on me, as I am getting sick. Fortunately, it is only a mild fever of 41˚ C. I am vomiting somewhat, but I am living in a port-a-potty, which makes it quite convenient. I discovered today that Obama had a heated platform to watch yesterday’s parade, which in hindsight would have been a more convenient place to sleep. Nevertheless, I persevere. Looking forward to returning to Boston…

Love, Raj.

Raj Inaugurates

I arrived at the mall at the crack of dawn to witness a highly disappointing turnout. Only around 2 million arrived, slightly lower than a Wednesday at Pondi Bazaar. We stood in the sub-frigid temperature for over 5 hours to hear Barack Obama order us that we need to do more work. Also, it was interesting to hear 2 million people boo President Bush and Vice President Cheney. I haven't heard anyone receive such a poor reception since Ricky Ponting during the 3rd Test against India early last year in Delhi. I enjoyed overhearing the conversations amongst Congresspersons, where I am certain that Senator John McCain asked another person, "Have you ever heard of fight club?" This was independently verified by three people around me in the audience, as well as my cameraman Walt. I have yet to confirm if this Upper House Fight Club had anything to do with the seizures occuring today in Sen. Kennedy and Sen. Byrd. I will try to get tickets to the Inauguration Ball, and upon approval of my parents, a date!

Love, Raj

Cheyney Enfeebled by Lack of (Official) Torturing Power

Here's the old man himself, shortly before the inaguration, playing possum before he gets shipped to The Hague. Or, to quote those wiser on such cubjects: Don't believe it: Let me tell you something else. I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. Indeed.

The MSM would have you believe he hurt his back while moving things, but everyone knows Cheyney had Bush do all the dirty work! Ho ho, ha ha! Seriously, he was probably shredding his waterboarding snuff porn collection.

Obama blah blah

There's really nothing we can say about the inauguration that hasn't already been said. BNN is just happy that it's over and no one got shot. Now we're going to join the Conservation Corps or the Hobo Lumberjack Squad or whatever it is we're supposed to do now that H has committed us to life of bartering and volunteering to not do whatever it was that we did to make the economy so mad at us.

Driver delivers General Tso Chicken and X

Apparently, a #7 is beef, broccoli, and drugs. Quincy Police busted Chun Yeung Tang on Friday with 51 pills believed to be ecstacy.

Oh, those Chinese, even their deliverymen are more industrious.

[Patriot Ledger: Deliveryman for Chinese restaurant faces drug charges ]

Finnernan Should Have Shot a Drug Dealer Instead

The Boston Herald reports that Tom Finnernan failed in his attempt to receive a pardon from George Bush. Instead of pardoning the former House Speaker, the departing president opted to pardon two border guards who shot a Mexican drug dealer.

Remarkably, Finnernan thought it was a good idea to enlist the aid of four former Massachusetts governors in his quest to win a pardon: William Weld, Paul Cellucci and Jane Swift, and Michael Dukakis. You got that right, Finnernan tried to win something by getting the help of four of the biggest losers ever. Way to go, Tommy!

[Boston Herald: Thomas Finnernan passed over in pardon lottery]