Friday, June 27, 2008

We couldn't make this up.

From the International Herald Tribune ( 

"...a group going by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning water-treatment plant on the shoreline to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant."

We suspect this means that it'll only be a matter of time before Deer Island is renamed Bulger Island. Which, not coincidentally, would make a great title and concept for a reality show-- at the end of the show, two contestants are left standing. One contestant becomes the president of U. Mass, and the other goes on the run. Forever. 

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I don't know where ye been, but you won first place

Larry Sinclair's attorney Montgomery Sibley showed up at his client's National Press Club conference wearing a kilt today, claiming that his unusually large endowment (read: HUGE COCK/BALLS) made wearing trousers uncomfortable. BNN operatives have been trolling the Internet for pics, and all we can find are photos of Sibley wearing trousers, sans bulge. What gives? Of all the days to go crazy.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Weymouth to Sex Offenders: Stay 1500 Feet From Kids!

Sex Offenders to Weymouth: We'll Buy Binoculars!

The Boston Globe reports that level 3 sex offenders in Weymouth (as well as other towns in MA) are being required to stay even further from schools, parks, and pools than previously required. Readers should note that level 3 sex offenders are considered to be at a high risk to re-offend. Which, when one considers that they were arrested, convicted, and released, is almost too idiotic to comment on.

Almost! Move them to France, where they can enjoy a life of wine, cheese, and a retrospective produced by HBO. Everyone wins! Or is that no one?

DiMasi Takes the "F" Out of Casual Fridays

...and puts it right back into "Go fuck yourself", at least if you're one of the few State House employees who toil the week away, waiting for the one day a week when you can celebrate the sense of bad taste and poor decision making that got you that job in the first place.

Yes - the truth hurts. No more Casual Fridays at the State House. Good news is that it looks like Nepotism Tuesday and Unbelievable Are You Kidding Me Bullshit Thursday are in not in danger. Hail to thee, il Padrone.

Friday, June 13, 2008

And Bill O'Reilly still lives...

Tim Russert, anchor of NBC's Meet The Press and not the asshole that 90% of TV journalists tend to be, died today of a heart attack. He was 58 and a mensch.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Finally the GOP is Embracing the Revolution

From the Old Gray Lady's lobotomized younger sister:

The red T-shirts worn by Bobby Jindal's supporters declared "Louisiana Revolution," with the candidate's features imposed on the famous two-tone visage of Che Guevara.

That unusual profile - a 36-year-old Indian-American religious conservative - has launched a prospective vice presidential candidacy. Jindal is imagined as a possible counterpart to Barack Obama's novelty, the Republicans' own jarringly fresh front man for a party looking to redefine itself.

At long last, the aging boomer white male's brain may wrap around his head and explode into a Reagan-shaped mist. A red shirted mob referencing Che in support of an Indian (no, not those ones) in Louisiana? And he's the good guy? Religious conservative, too, but what religion? Seems here the only logical thing to do is start spreading the Jindal/Muslim meme. Hell, Barry Goldwater was half Jewish and most 60s Republicans thought he'd be taking orders from Moses or Mel Brooks. Appalachians might stone Jindal.

Mitt Romney's looking better every day, for both parties. Free hairspray for everyone; it's on big government's tab.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Obama Clinches! Hot Flash Sufferers Around the Country Saddened, Achy

Delicious Black Man and soon to be Republican Swift Boating Victim Barack H Obama has achieved the requisite # of delegates necessary to make thousands of old ladies and people who didn't go to college so very, very sad. The AP reports.

Celtics are Ready For the Summer!

Monday, June 2, 2008

UPDATE: Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor Escapes Skull Prison!

Oh, not really. It was removed by doctors, sent to Exeter, and will soon be ready to run for Senate, where it will outperform Patrick Kennedy and provide free health care for all! Hooray.