Why Should I Believe Larry Sinclair?

With Larry Sinclair’s press conference coming up on 6/18/08, there’s not only a lot of dumbocrats shaking in their Birkenstocks that the man the put their faith in instead of Jesus is about to get exposed for the drug-taking, murderous, lying, Muslim, left-handed, homo, negro voodoo priest that he most certainly is. Still, Americans are a fair people and they wanna have all the information they can get before making the decision they know in their hearts to be true – that “President HUSSEIN Obama” will destroy America’s value and Christian heritage by selling us out to the towelheads or worse.

I was talking with some fella name xjblib over at Big Head DC, one of the best places to find out just how guilty Barack Osama Homo Bin Laden is and not have to listen to a bunch of morons and homos trying to defend him. While I was talking with him, it occurred to me that there ain’t a single document, like the voter’s guide that Dr. Dobson hands out, that’ll really let you look at the facts real quick and make up your on mind based on the information that’s given to you.

So I went ahead and made one.

The biggest thing about this whole dust-up is that fence-sitters say, “why should I believe Larry Sinclair when I don’t know him from Adam?” If you’re stupid enough to ask those kinds of questions, then this chart is gonna show you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Larry Sinclair is a whole lot more trustworthy than Barack Osama Homo Bin Laden.

A dumbocrat thinks he can find truth anywhere when, in fact,
truth only comes from the common sense that God gave you.

The way works is like this – I identified 12 important things that are key to figuring out whether to trust someone or not. For each thing would make you not trust someone, I gave the person a point. It’s really pretty simple. When you add everything up you’re gonna see that Larry Sinclair scores a 2 and Barack Osama Homo Bin Laden scores an 11! So who do you think is the more trustworthy person?

Illegal Citizen – There’s real good proof coming out that Homobama ain’t even a American!! Hawaii might be a state but Rick Warren calls himself a Christian, too.

Foreign Name – Ronald. George . Herbert. Those are names that sound America and that means that you can trust them. They ain’t the names of someone’s who’s gonna kill you in your sleep. Osama. Achmed. Barack. Them’s the names that terrorists have. I ain’t even sure why I gotta point this out but there’s plenty of drug-addled dumbocrats that don’t seem to get it.

Felon – You can’t trust a criminal but people make mistakes sometimes. Larry Sinclair came right out and admitted the dozens and dozens of crimes he committed right out of the gate. Homobama ain’t confessed to ONE of his. If it’s between a criminal that went to jail and one that ain’t, I’m gonna go with the one that has.

Drug user – Larry Sinclair says he ain’t done drugs for a long time and I got no reason to doubt him. Homobama said he stopped doing drugs along time ago and yet he smoked crack cocaine with Sinclair AFTER he said that he hadn’t done drugs for awhile. How do we know that he still don’t smoke crack or heroin or something worse? We don’t!

Murderer – Larry Sinclair ain’t killed one single person. Homobama has killed three homo negros who thought they’d squeal on him. I guess that’s like self-hating Jews or something. One of the first things I teach my kids – DON’T TRUST A MURDERER!

Liar – Larry Sinclair’s been 100% honest about everything he done. Homabama can’t even talk about the weather without lying about it. And he ain’t a good liar, neither.

Muslim – You only have to look at his name to know that Homobama is a muslim. There’s even pictures of him with a towel on his head! Remember when he talked about the 57 states he been to? He weren’t talking about the United States – he was talking about ARAB states! I’m currently talking to a couple of people that claim that he prays to Mecca seven times a day like the devout towelhead he is. Larry Sinclair is NOT a Muslim. He’s white.

Left-handed – It’s a proven fact that left-handed people are lazy, shiftless and wanna live off the government without doing a stitch of work. They buy homes they can’t pay for but still somehow manage to drive around in Cadillacs. Watch Larry’s videos. He’s right-handed and that says a lot about a man’s character.

Gay – My song, The Sodomite’s Lament, is a pretty factual representation of the way homos live. All they care about is sex, drugs and butt sex. When you think about the lying and deviousness it takes to spend your life lusting after sinfulness it oughta be pretty clear that you’d be better off putting a gun to your head than trusting a homo. Now some people are gonna say it takes two to have gay sex. But according to his website, Larry Sinclair say that “he is single, never married.” If he was a faggot, wouldn’t he say that?

Metrosexual – I ain’t sure what this is but I know that Homobama is one, Larry Sinclair ain’t and that you can’t trust someone who is.

Voodoo Priest – Larry Sinclair is a white man. Voodoo priests are negros. Homobama has never allowed anyone to verify that he has a voodoo altar in the basement of his house. Why wouldn’t he want to clear this up? Why would you trust him if he doesn’t?

Negro – Again, Larry Sinclair is a white man. xjblib at BHDC makes the valid point that Homobama may be a Oreo but he ain’t a negro. I had a hard time figuring out how to score this. Originally, I was gonna give him a 2 on this because if you can’t say what race somebody is it makes it twice as hard to know if you can trust them or not. Someone suggested that I split the difference and give him a half point but that made the math a little hard. In the end, my pastor told me it kind cancels itself out so I oughta give him a 0 on it. After praying, Jesus said the same thing.

Those are the facts. Y'all go and do your research and you're gonna find out the exact same thing if you're doing it right.

So make sure you're paying attention on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 from 1-5:00 PM. The press conference will be in the Holman Lounge at the National Press Club. I'm told it's a pretty upscale place, too!

God is Love!
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